I stumbled upon you in a search for a watery respite, a temporary pause in my personal daily nine-to-five grind. Your expressions are refreshing, your reflections offer a sincere perspective without the cloud of haze the majority stirs around our eyes.

I too have spent many heartbeats wrapped in the oceans blanket, only to find one day, a misguided soul chose to perverse the joy I felt by concluding I was not welcome there... I did not fit into his misconceived notion of belonging, all the while screaming and spouting his case of ignorance.

A dark day ensued until I realized many of these uncultivated truly do exist, sadly. They spend a life being watered, yet sprout no happiness upon their fellow, and cast no uplifting roots amidst an already suffering world.

So now I walk.

I journey further to find a solitude amongst miles of the fruitless.

I seek to have no hindrance in the ensuing connection I pursue before me,
to dance among the sea

Sophie

Finding myself starting to appreciate certain luxuries in greater detail lately, its quite the blessing. I do however, wonder why it takes monumental occurences to open my eyes to the simplicities in life.

Having the opportunity to throw a board in the bus and just spend some time in and amongst the raw beauty of the ocean has been temporarily taken from me. I have come to terms with how empty this leaves me. It is driving me to depart from all that caused me to experience these trials, but almost thankful that it left me aware of the lack of connection I really had to the things that truly matter and make me feel alive.

Feeling the pain of not knowing if my dog had cancer or not was undescribable, further magnified by the thought that I could have spent more time with her just enjoying the moment, each and every day. Not caring about tomorrow or yesterday, but running around in the waves, sandy and blissful. Just enjoying her innocence and knowing my dog lives for the moment, cherishing the thrill of exploring every nook of an empty coastline.

If I succeed at understanding the manner in which my dog lives, I believe I will live how life should be experienced. Without sitting behind closed doors, without the fear of death, without the knowledge that tomorrow will actually exist. She lives for the second I walk through a door I put her on the wrong side of, and forgets I left her for 8 hours to a place I don't even want to be at. But she doesn't even need to forgive me, because she already forgot the second I came home. I cannot go back to change the times I may have ignored the important things before me, but I can learn to not dwell on the past as she will never do, and make the most out of each moment I have. Leave no breath unlived, knowing she showed me how to truly love, and never let one heartbeat slip by again.

A good excuse is a good excuse, but its still an excuse either way you look at it..

I often think about what I want to do with my life, what work I want to pursue, while I work, at work.

Its not that I cannot accept my current situation, nor is it that I feel compelled to find a "better" job. It's just the feeling that if I continue on the path of least resistance, I would regret not taking the chances, the future experiences that I want to define me and I would continually question  where my piece of the puzzle fits.. I have to quit the "real world" to put myself in the real world in all its natural, simplistic wildness.

Today leaves me with a question that I cannot answer yet. I believe I can complete 3000 miles alone, but what does alone mean..

At times I just want to drive up there, get in, and bring no attention to my whereabouts. Isn't it more real that way? Not having any commitments to companies, no extra camera equipment, gear, and necessities that aren't even necessary if I just paddle....to paddle

People who would understand what I'm trying to do, the ones who seek to further their understanding of themselves and reconnect with that wild inner soul, would find out somehow on their own. Maybe I would come across them on my own journey, share stories about ideas that could shed light into dark places.

This would not address the myriad of issues concerning our ocean's condition however, bring no public attention to the extremes people go to protect our lifegiver. Is this even extreme? I'm already caught in a crossroads and I'm holding onto sponsor proposals because I cannot answer myself, but what is life without the uncertainty of tomorrow?

These thoughts will take flight, will materialize into tangibility, I just question when and how far am I willing to go. I want to inspire, but first lead by example.

Day #1

Finally set up this blog to get the ball rolling and deal with some business agenda for the paddle.

A website will be launched in the upcoming months as things begin to come together.

Stay Tuned!